I was at Asda yesterday buying a box of Bakers for my dogs , in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, RIGHT ??? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Bakers Diet again, and that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in... the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intens......ive care, with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with the small bite biscuits and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a kerb to sniff a poodle's arse and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Better watch what you ask me and be prepared for my answer
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Diet
Started by (FG) FatPete, Dec 03 2011 02:38 AM
9 replies to this topic
#2
(FG) SammyCR
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No wonder this clown died his lungs are filled with CANDY!
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Posted 03 December 2011 - 03:26 AM
haha awesome
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#5
(FG) Orrible
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Judo Gigalo
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Posted 03 December 2011 - 02:00 PM
funny shit man
We don't see the world as it is but as we are.... Anaïs Nin
#6
(FG) juliankr
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she's my bitch. coming through.
Posted 03 December 2011 - 04:37 PM
lol
"Sed fugit interea fugit irreparabile tempus"
(But it flees in the meantime: irretrievable time flies)
(But it flees in the meantime: irretrievable time flies)
There are 10 types of people in the world; those who understand binary and those who don't..
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#7
(FG) DeSels
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Posted 03 December 2011 - 06:32 PM
roflmao
Like my friend Sun Tzu said:
"Regard your soldiers as your children, and they will follow you into the deepest valleys;
look on them as your own beloved sons, and they will stand by you even unto death."
#10
(FG) t3rribl3on3
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Posted 05 December 2011 - 12:34 PM
haha love stories like this
No point in mentioning these bats, I thought. Poor b*****d will see them soon enough.
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